Thursday, May 22, 2008

Sick Jersey Bro.com: Most astounding human accomplishment of all time?


In a word: Possibly! For almost as long as it takes to get an M.R.I. in Canada, Sick Jersey Bro.com has been doing God's work (obviously white, Christian God) in exposing the soft, customized and often sluggy underbelly of the Sabres jersey world. Not long ago I was brutally exposed to some of the most customized Sabres jerseys known to science. The experience shook me to the core. The experience then took a long calculating stare, freed the last drag of cool white smoke from his now greasy Newport then violently grasped my core and shook it's core.........to the core. If you have ever seen the phenomena firsthand you will most likely agree. I'll say it as bluntly as I can when sober. People who put their own name on their jerseys stink. There. I said it. To combat this atrocity I have constructed the greatest single electronical contrivance since the advent of the telephone machine: sickjerseybro.com. There I record and discuss these jersified transgressions for the benefit of all human society. Trapped in a world of sick jerseys, I find myself leaping from jersey to jersey, putting things right that once went wrong, and hoping (not unlike Dr. Sam Beckett) each time that my next leap will be the leap home. In conjunction with Sabres Not Slugs we hope to turn the tide of all things astray with Sabres jerseys and the human condition in general. So take heed! Do what ever you can to stem the tide of all things unholy, starting specifically with customized Sabres slug jerseys and working you way to world hunger, war and shit like that. You know, when you get some time. Stand up and be part of the nerdy, presumably overweight and internet savvy solution! Thank you for your time. Good luck and God bless you and yours.

C.O.A.
President and C.E.O.
Sickjerseybro.com industries LLC.

1 comment:

Charlie @ Sabres Not Slugs said...

Dude for 20 years, people keep pumping money to feed the poor and yet, still there are fly ridden pot bellied kids doing the Curly Howard dance...